HAPPY FATHER’S DAY…

Happy Father’s Day

By Aneraé “X-Raided” Brown

Time has a way of clarifying things.  If we allow it, that is.  Conditions have to be created for it to work.  Maturity is most important but that’s something more than growing into your body.  It’s growing into your mind and spirit.  That happens at different speeds for different people.  It took a long time for me and I still don’t always know if I’m getting it right, but I interpret my awareness of that as a sign of maturity.

I’ve been writing my mother pretty frequently most recently.  We’ve been in a good place with each other and I’m happy about that.  I want my critical relationships to be in solid shape.  It’s easy to throw a label at our memories and call things good or bad and place blame, but the most important moment in any situation always has to be the present.  What we do in the “right now” matters more than what we did in the past.  Right now I want to be the best person I can be, and I want to have the best relationships possible.

With that in mind, I’ve been asking my mom about my pops.  I haven’t seen him in 22 years, since ’88.  We haven’t spoken since ’02.  There are a lot of things I wish had been different but I’m at the point where I realize it doesn’t matter anymore.  It’s time to just make the best out of reality as we know instead of trying to rewrite the past.  We’re trying to find my dad so I can connect with him. My wife tried, my mom has tried, but so far we can’t find his new address.  My father is from Prichard, Alabama, outside of Mobile. His name is Charles Martin.  Since I couldn’t’ get at you directly this Father’s Day, I extend these words to you in spirit:  I am doing ok.  I look just like you.  I am proud to have your genes because I am healthy and strong.  My wife wants to meet you, dad (yeah, I have one of those).  She’s gorgeous and intelligent.  You have a granddaughter, too.  There’s a lot going on in my life.  But most of all, now that I’m grown, I just want to be able to chip it up with you as a man.  No judgment.  I just want to feel it out.  Happy Father’s Day, wherever you are.

To all my dudes out there struggling with the process of maturation, I encourage you to take responsibility for training your sons, brothers, nephews and lil’ homies about manhood and conducting themselves like kings.  We are confusing idiocy with gangsterism. Now is the time to take the kids to the zoo, the museum, the planetarium, anywhere peaceful and thought provoking.  Be cautious about what you program into the kids.  They are learning from you whether your intent is to teach or not.  Let’s teach strength and honesty, principles and morality, pride.  That’s the business.  We should all feel responsible if we know someone who isn’t living up to their fullest potential.  At worst we have to say something.  I didn’t have anyone doing that for me and I think it would have made a difference.  Someone has to be willing to fight to get or keep you on the right path, and that should be a man’s duty.  Props to everyone out there making an effort to have a positive impact on people.  Stay at it.

Happy Father’s Day, late as it may be when you receive this.

X-Raided